Letting Go - Part III

Should there even be a part III?

I feel a lot as if I've lost the plot over this. I am back again pumping and scouring the internet for answers to cure my supply. I've been thinking I could ask the Dr at my appointment on Monday if there is anything else maybe even hormone therapy to help me out. Who am I kidding though I have two other children who need me. One who is autistic and has not been able to commence therapy because of this I need to let it go.

When I first considered the thought of formula feeding I listened tot his song by Dashboard Confessional. I have probably not listened to a song and had a good cry since I was a teenager and well I kind of feel a bit juvenile listening to Dashboard and crying it's such a teenage girl thing to do. I feel incredibly emo even saying that I've put it on in the car and driven along crying. This song is actually where the name sake of the blog comes from as well.

Ghost of a Good Thing

I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same 
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame 
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said 
“Love is like a role that we play.” 

But, I believe in you so much 
I could die for the words that you say 
But, I believe in you so much 
I could die from the words that you say 

But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing 
Haunting yourself as the real thing 
It’s getting away from you again 
While you’re chasin’ ghosts 

I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame 
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said 
“Love is like a role that we play.” 

But, I believe in you so much 
I could die for the words that you say 
But, I believe in you so much 
I could die from the words that you say 

But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing 
Haunting yourself as the real thing 
It’s getting away from you again 
While you’re chasin’ ghosts 

Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit 
Like they were made for it 
But, they weren’t meant for this 
No, they weren’t meant for this 

Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit 
Like they were made for it 
But, they weren’t meant for this 

Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing 
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It’s getting away, away, away, away from you again

Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It’s getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts



That's exactly how I feel though like I'm haunting myself with something that isn't even worth this. It isn't worth the tears, the stress, the strain, the hurt. Not just me but for my whole family. I think the main thing I blamed not breastfeeding for was the failure to bond with my first born. I need to realise she's not dead she's still here and there is still a chance and this quest won't help it. I'm going to live in the now and just kick this obsession once and for all and not look back.. It's the right thing for us I know it is.